Buffcoat That Hooooooo!


Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em has a multiplatinum hit record. “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” is unbelievably popular. Its lyrics are more or less indiscernible, its beat is more or less absent, and it repeats its chorus ad naseum without ever actually breaking into a verse.

Everyone loves this song. Why? The dance, fool! If you haven’t been doing this dance, you really need to catch up. The dance is simple (and you can learn it from the master or from University of Wisconsin head basketball coach Bo Ryan):

Step 1 – put your arms up, shake shoulders, jump cross legs (maybe throw in a heel slap)
Step 2 – stomp foot, cross arms
Step 3 – put arms out to one side and jump the other way, reverse, repeat
Step 4 – Superman that ho

Now Youuuu crank that soulja boy!
The best/worst part of the dance is, of course, when you Superman that ho. It seems innocent enough but… to Superman a ho is not just pointing your arms out. It involves sticky bed sheets. Indeed. As for the meaning of crank that… take a wild guess. Soulja Boy manages to stay one step ahead of the censors by using slang that they haven’t picked up yet. Tipper Gore isn’t street, she just don’t know! Kudos. This technique was utilized a few years back by Lil’ Jon with “Get Low” (everyone knows what skeet, skeet means by now right?), another dance hit with endless quotability. I can still hear hordes of club girls chanting “til’ the sweat drops off my balls!”

Creating a new dance craze is easy and apparently very lucrative. The moves don’t have to be complicated. Shit, even Fat Joe got in the action with “Lean Back,” a dance that involved… leaning back. That dude can barely move. That’s why it’s time to get in on the action.

So, in the tradition of simple dances with thinly veiled sexual innuendo becoming big hits we present the new track by Lil’ Rapper Boy: B.U.F.F.C.O.A.T. That Ho

Tha Dance:
Step 1 – put one hand in pocket, hold drink in the other hand, take hand out of pocket and waive above head
Step 2 – sip from your drink, stomp foot twice

Step 3 – nod head while looking longingly at girl across the bar

Step 4 – Buffcoat that Ho

Tha Lyrics:
We getting’ drunk in here
Oooh! Yeah boy!
We stayin’ blowed in here
Heeey! Awwww shit!
They be mad hoes in here
Buffcoat them hoes in here
Who buffcoats them hoes?
Who buffcoats them hoes?
You buffcoat them hoes!
Okay! Stay stanky!
We buffcoat them hoes!

What’s a buffcoat? Catch up HERE. Nasty.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s