Police questioned the only witness to a murder in front of a beachside Sno-cone stand that took place last night. Lenny, an 8 year old male Ostrich was present but apparently oblivious to what police have said must have been “blood curdling” screams. According to Detective Sergeant James O’Halarahan the witness claimed to have been unaware that anything took place at all. “We have no leads at present time,” O’Halarahan commented, “that ostrich didn’t see shit.” When approached for comment, Lenny flapped his wings and tried to snake his neck through a car window to eat some McDonald’s french fries left in a bag.
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